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The holidays can be a joyful time, but for many, family dynamics make it stressful. We spoke to Dr. Christine Korol about why some choose to have a no contact holiday with family. She told us research shows 27% of Americans are estranged from family, and rising polarization in topics like politics, is only making tensions worse. Dr. Korol thinks many people have lost the skills to discuss sensitive issues.
Experts suggest practical strategies to navigate difficult relationships during the holidays. Assertiveness skills can help individuals express their views clearly and respectfully. Dr Korol explains what is meant by being assertive.
Phrases like “I see it differently” set boundaries without being confrontational.
De-escalation techniques are also key. Experts recommend avoiding ultimatums and focusing on actions instead. For example, calmly saying, “I’ll step away if this continues,” helps diffuse heated moments. Dr. Korol points out that these techniques take practice to get good at.
Role-playing with a therapist or participating in peer-led groups, such as those based on nonviolent communication, can help practice and prepare individuals for challenging conversations with their family.
Dr. Korol suggests when holiday planning, mitigation tactics like staying in a hotel or shortening visits can ease pressure. If tensions escalate, avoid direct criticism and stick to polite but firm explanations. Ultimately, prioritizing emotional safety over social expectations is vital. While decisions may not please everyone, they can protect mental health during the festive season.
If you’d like to learn more on this subject Dr. Korol recommends books by Bill Eddy and Wendy Behary. These authors offer valuable insights into managing high-conflict relationships and setting boundaries. Role-playing and assertiveness training are also highly recommended.
Dr. Christine Korol, has over two decades of experience and has been dedicated to helping adults and children manage and overcome anxiety since 1998. You can learn more about Dr, Korol here: https://www.vancouveranxiety.com/
Written by Jeremy Hall